George C. Joseph and Other Things

By now, I’m sure  you’ve seen the letter from Mr. Joseph talking about how his dealership will be taken away. I don’t know the circumstances and will not claim that I do. What I will say is that I work for a family-owned car dealership as well, one that has about twice the number of employees and around four times the inventory. It’s not an entirely fair comparison since they sell foreign cars, but I’ve done some asking around and it turns out that what allegedly happened to Mr. Joseph couldn’t happen to my dealership, because the owner was a little more savvy with the contracts he signed. I also found this post on Craigslist, which while I definitely don’t agree with everything in it, I still find highly amusing:

link

Dear Mr. Joseph.

Congratulations on the success you and your family have enjoyed over the last 35 years.

As you know our free market oriented capitalist system is based on a few fundamental principles. Some of these are:
1. Individual risk and reward
2. Personal responsibility
3. Market selection of winners and losers
4. Rule of law and integrity of contracts

Part of what makes our system so great, is that it enables hardworking citizens, like yourself to achieve great success, as you have. Another part of what makes our system so great, is that it disciplines, through failure, those who will not adapt to new realities, and those who refuse to prepare themselves for all contingencies that life might throw their way.

I applaud you for accepting the first part of the above, but question why you don’t appreciate the second. Your family risked much over the last 35 years. For a large portion of that time, you succeeded. Now you have failed. Did you write a letter to the editor when you succeeded saying “how in America could I be so successful?” Of course not.

During the time you were succeeding, millions of Americans took large gambles and started small businesses. In many case they lost everything – and had to start over… perhaps even working as a salesman or mechanic in your shop. Did you then question the system which had not treated them as kindly as you? Did you then express your outrage that they did not succeed – as you had? Of course not.

You claim that you will lose everything through “NO FAULT OF OUR OWN”. Is that true?

Why did you not see an upcoming recession? Why did you not save money more prudently – in the event of a downturn? Why did not diversify into other brands? Why did you not demand some guarantee from Chrysler when they demanded you remodel your store?

You had a continuing relationship with Chrysler of your own choice, they did not turn out to be the best partner… That happens, and will continue to happen in our system. Next time, you and/or your offspring will remember a simple lesson: “chose your partners carefully”.

Chrysler failed. That is unfortunate, but due to many structural problems with their business model. Don’t despair! American’s will continue to need cars, and new, smarter, more nimble competitors will fill that need. Perhaps you can start again selling their cars, or working for someone who sells their cars. Yes, you might not be boss anymore, and yes, you might not have the prestige that comes with employing 50 people.

However, none of that is your right, and nobody else owes that to you.

Your only right, is to rise and fall as the forces of fortune and your personal enterprise allow. Nothing more. Our rule of law dictates that under bankruptcy all contracts are renegotiable. Perhaps before starting your next venture you brush up your understanding of our legal system. All contracts are subject to review and summary cancellation by the presiding judge in the event that a counterparty goes into bankruptcy. Bankruptcy was, unfortunately necessary for Chrysler to prune you and other underperforming dealerships because state car dealership laws frequently make it impossible for a car manufacturer to cut dealerships without bankruptcy (I’m quite confident you did not fight these laws.)

My advice: Keep your chin up. Maintain your principles. Believe in hard work. Stop crying like a child who has lost at checkers.

Most sincere regards,
Uncle Sam

I would also love to know if his income decreased any in order to try to avoid firing the 20 people he did. He’s certainly not obligated to do that, but if he didn’t, then he needn’t ask that the government be concerned for their plight, either.

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Nancy Pelosi, I wish you would just once think before you speak. You’d think after the first time you got caught in a lie you’d learn, but for such an intelligent woman, this lesson seems to remain beyond you. You’re making a ridiculous spectacle of yourself, and you need to knock that shit off.

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Prince’s latest website: lotusflow3r.com Go there. He is the ultimate and timeless badass–even if I don’t have $77 to join his fanclub.

My Opinions: The Speed Dating Version. Also With More Cursing!

I’m writing this at work, but will post at home where WordPress isn’t blocked. Since I’m at work, I’m crankier than usual (if you can imagine). And kind of mean. And very long-winded. Just a warning.

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I don’t care about Miss California’s views on gay marriage. She has the absolute right to her views, and the right to express them publicly if given that platform. I find her irritating for other reasons. First, she talks like a barely-coherent, 15-year-old valley girl. Like, you know? (“My country”? “I think I believe”? Really?) A big part of being a representative of anything is to be able to communicate well, and she does not. Surprisingly, this doesn’t seem to bother many people. Of course, many people abuse apostrophes and aren’t even smart enough to take advantage of spellcheck, so maybe the value of any form of communication–other than big fake boobs and generic Christian terminology–is declining.

I find the fake boobs irritating. I don’t mind that they’re fake (much) and I don’t care who paid for them; I mind that they look fake. Seriously, you could drive a semi in the space between those things. Either cough up for something more realistic looking, or just let it go.

Finally, and mostly, I am aggravated by the total hypocrisy that is becoming so normal for many of those who claim to be Christians. God doesn’t mind you being topless, but hell awaits two consenting adults who want to spend their lives together? And this bullshit about how she’s a model and was looking for lingerie modeling work and sometimes models wear lingerie just annoys the hell out of me. The Bible says women should dress modestly. Do you get a pass because you’re a model? How stupid do you think Americans are? Oh, wait…it’s working for you. That’s not scary at all. Also, email has proven that you lied about when the pictures were taken. But who cares about lies? You’re pretty and blond and you’re working for Jesus by combating the gay. Free pass to Heaven, folks.

She should be removed for the pictures, period. She would not be the first, and as none of the others were being persecuted for being Biblically Correct, it wouldn’t have been the case for her either. I’m not remotely surprised by Trump’s decision to keep her, though. He has evidenced in the past his soft spot for manipulative blonds with big boobs.

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“My uncle’s cousin’s neighbor’s dog has been to Iraq, and he doesn’t have a problem with waterboarding (or other EITs).” Really? Well, perhaps you should discuss it with John McCain, who seems to think it’s torturous, not to mention unethical, immoral, and causes more harm than good. Of course, he was only a POW for five years, so his opinions should totally be taken with a grain of salt. And Dick Cheney says…

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Why the hell are we still being subjected to Dick Cheney’s insane rantings? Have you noticed how silent Bush is being about everything? Have you noticed that the one thing he has said is that he won’t criticize President Obama because Obama “deserves my silence”? That’s classy. I’d advise Cheney to take note, but he has made it abundantly clear for the past eight years that class is utterly beyond him. The world makes fun of Bush for being an uncouth cowboy, but he’s a prince compared to Cheney.

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Speaking of waterboarding, when is Sean Hannity going to let Keith Olbermann put his money where Sean’s mouth is? (And if he could put his fist where Sean’s mouth is, I wouldn’t call it a bad thing. Don’t ever let anyone tell you liberals hate all violence.) Olbermann better be planning to donate to charity on his own, because I have my doubts Hannity is going to man up.

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An Open Letter to President Obama:

Timothy Geithner. Really? After the whole Daschle debacle, you thought Timothy Geithner was the way to go? Interesting.

Otherwise, man, I’m proud of you. You’re still all kinds of awesome, just like I expected when I voted for you. I appreciate you doing so much that you said you’d do, and doing it quickly–and I know this is only the beginning. Thank you.

Timothy Geithner? Really? OK, sorry.

Sincerely,

JustThisGirl

PS I mean no disrespect, truly, but you and your wife are undoubtedly the hottest First Couple in the history of this great nation. John and Jackie were hard to beat, but by god, you did it.

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Why is it “we” when Navy SEALs save a ship from pirates, but “I didn’t know about this” when planes fly over NY for a photo shoot? I don’t know, let me think…maybe because nobody can know every single tiny thing that goes on, and while the President likely isn’t going to be informed about a photo shoot, he probably will be informed about pirates attacking a US ship. I’m sorry, let me reintroduce you. Conservative nitwits: logic. Logic: conservative nitwits. Besides, the man has already claimed more responsibility in five months than Bush did in two years. (He’s on track to beat former President Clinton, as well.) That said…

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Who the HELL thought that photo shoot was a good idea? Seriously, how did SO MANY people hear/read about flying Air Force One in and around NYC landscape and think, “Oh, this is fine, nothing wrong here”? I know an entire governmental department that should be given thorough mental health evaluations. About the only thing I’ve ever heard that’s dumber than this is a woman who filed a complaint against a gynecologist because he asked her to remove her pants for a pelvic exam. These people are wandering around unfettered, but I have to spend hundreds of dollars a month on medication. This seems unbalanced, somehow… (Get it? Unbalanced? See what I did there? :p)

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Among the arguments that were given in favor of a complete face transplant for Connie Culp are that she wanted to be able to eat normally, breathe normally, and not be called names on the street. I cannot comprehend the level of douchiness that a person would have to embody not to support the transplant, but let’s pretend that there’s some basis for that opinion and ignore it for the time being. Let’s focus on that last thing: she didn’t want to be called names on the street.

As a person who has experienced that myself (although undoubtedly to a lesser degree than has Mrs. Culp), I just have one thing to say: What is wrong with people? I think that for people who are, say, seven or over (and not mentally challenged), pointing and laughing at someone for something like that should result in sniper fire from surrounding building tops. (Those snipers can also nab people who don’t return their carts in the parking lot. I weigh 8000 pounds and am so tired from an underactive thyroid that I can’t always even manage to take off my clothes at night, and even I return my cart to the corral.)

Also, have you read much about this face transplant? This woman is freaking amazing. If my husband shot me in the face at close range, I highly doubt I would be as gracious as she is. Also, I would probably shoot his genitals at close range. Different strokes.

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Facebook, stop changing things. I’m seriously, dude.*

*This is a South Park quote; I didn’t suddenly lapse into Carrie Prejean–speak.

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Elizabeth Edwards, how dare you write a book/not hold your husband accountable/blame the other woman/let him run for President knowing what you knew (even though you’d hardly had a chance to process it yourself before he made his announcement)? Those of us who have never been terminally ill with a cheating spouse while in the national eye are very disappointed in your behavior, and we are confident we could do better, even though it’s none of our goddamn business and we should either be supportive or shut the hell up.

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I know I should be grateful that I have a job. And I am grateful for my paycheck, really. But I don’t know how much longer it will be before I snap. And even then, it might not be at work. Maybe it will be at my boyfriend’s mother. Maybe it will be at the next person in front of me at Wal-Mart or Kroger who is rude to the cashier. Maybe it will be at the bra digging into my skin even as I type. Who knows what the future holds?

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Random funny exchange:

Me: I don’t get this hoopla over Michelle’s sleeveless top in her first White House photos. Jackie O wore sleeveless for hers, too.

Kristi: Yes, JustThisGirl, but her arms were white.

And I fell silent, because how are you gonna argue with that logic?

A Leader We Can Trust (or at Least Enjoy Looking At)

I’ve long heard of Debbie Schlussel, but only recently–thanks to a great satire article by my ex-husband–seen any of her work. I find her fascinating. Or, at least, as fascinating as I’d find anyone whose website proudly boasts that she’s a 2005 Weblog Awards finalist. (We have something in common: I, too, like to boast about awards that I didn’t win four years ago.)

I have determined that Schlussel is not getting what she deserves. It seems patently obvious to me that if large numbers of conservatives feel the need to worship a blond, white, female, sociopath, they should choose Schlussel over Coulter. Schlussel is hot, and Coulter is…well, Schlussel  is hot.  If we’re going to have one of these women crammed down our throats, why can’t we see her face all over the place?

Quick Funny Pic

I use Gmail, which I adore. It does come with ads, but they’re unobtrusive, and for the amount of storage and features, I’m happy to have them.

Sometimes, though, the ads are just funny. Look at the ad below, just above my inbox:

God has an answer for everything, doesn’t he? Here I was, thinking to myself, “How can I gain a hundred pounds?” and then Focus on the Family came through.

Funny, By Me

picture is of my Scooter
captioned using wigflip.com/roflbot/

OMGSOBORED!!!

I’m bored at work a lot. I’ve mentioned it before. Today, however, is the slowest day I’ve had in a long time. I’ve been busy, and still the time has gone slowly. Normally, busyness makes the time fly. But today, I am bored. Tomorrow, I suspect, will be even worse. They’re going to let us off early, but not early enough for me to make my family’s Christmas Eve party. But I get to go on Christmas Day, so it’s all good. I guess.

Christ. There are children in the seating area. Just what I need. Can’t they keep the little spawn in the playroom where they belong?

OK. I think I’m bored here, too.

Annual Christmas Rant

Every year, it seems, the Christmas music starts earlier. This is fine with me, as I love Christmas music–that is, most Christmas music. There are three songs that I absolutely loathe. The first two barely deserve a mention, as I loathe them simply because they’re remarkably irritating, and they are: “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney and “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. They’re annoying. I hate them. Moving on.

The third song deserves more attention–and it gets it, since I go on this tirade every year–because it is downright offensive. “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” is utterly vile. I know you’re wondering what can be so bad about it; well, I’ll tell you. It’s the following lines:

“Oh, bring us some figgy pudding…
We won’t go until we get some…”

Oh? So you’re making me get off my lazy behind, get dressed, go to the door, and listen to your tone-deaf caterwauling, and you won’t get out of my doorway until I give you some of my food? Fuck you. I bet you’ll leave if I turn the hose on your grinning faces.

See, we talk about the greed of Christmas today, but this song is from the 16th century. Christmas has been about greed for a long, long time. President-Elect Obama has promised change (at least, I think I recall him mentioning it once…), and I hope he does the right thing and stamps this song–and the horrible greed it promotes–out for good!

Make My Decisions for Me, Please

This entry is mainly for Kristi, but I welcome all opinions.

Do I like these boots? I’ve been going back and forth about them for over a month. Then I saw them on some girl at Penney’s and decided for sure that I didn’t–but I’m still contemplating them. Help!

Say no, say yes, say I’m crazy for considering them; just give me some feedback, dammit!

Twitter

What is Twitter? I don’t get it. At all . Someone help a technologically challenged old lady out here?

Strange

I have always disliked children. Even when I was a kid, I disliked children. It used to be that if a person was under 35 or so (which is odd, considering I am), I found them difficult to tolerate. (Two notable exceptions: my sister Kristi, and my cousin Ben.) Lately I’ve noticed that kids–even babies–don’t bother me as much as they used to. But I’ve been hanging around with all my cousins’ babies and toddlers–and I haven’t once wanted to punt one through a window. And I’ve been chatting–mainly via blog comments, but sometimes on IM–with some of Carson’s students, and I like these people, too. Am I getting old? Are the mood stabilizers actually making me less of a grouch? And if they are, then what? Grouchiness is my identity. I’m not smart; I’m not talented; but I’m sure as hell grumpy.

Maybe I just need to go to a nice restaurant. There’s always an obnoxious kid screaming in a nice restaurant.