On the Debates

I wrote this on my other blog during one of the debates. I forget which one; they all blur together in one anger-inducing mass. Because there are those who focus on the wrong points and argue with points I never made, I would like to elaborate on my Obama crush. When I first heard of Obama, I honestly thought he was goofy looking. I actually put him in the category of people I feel sort of bad for: those people who would almost be good-looking, but didn’t quite make it. (I myself am in that category. I would be pretty if I weren’t so fat.) It was only after reading about him and listening to him speak and watching him work and seeing how he interacts with that wonderful family that I developed a crush on him. I am not voting for him as a result of my crush.

Now, on with the point.

You know what candidates turn into when they’re debating? Those really old-fashioned help programs that huge companies used to have, the ones that were really bad at guessing what you really wanted and there was no human to help move things along in a more precise direction. You might write, “Dear Huge Corporation: I am having trouble paying with a Visa credit card even though you say you accept them. My MasterCard works, but I would like to pay with my Visa.” And the big huge corporation’s program notices the words Visa and Mastercard and responds with a list of accepted payment methods and thanks you for your interest.

We would get the same information we’re getting now–without the frustration of having to scream, “ANSWER THE QUESTION, MOTHERFUCKER!!” every three minutes–if the moderator would just point at a candidate and say, “Foreign policy. GO!”

But Obama is so fucking dreamy.